Mother's Little Helper

No, I'm not referring to The Rolling Stones hit from the 60's, I'm referring to my kids. Some of you may have them . . . the kids who always want to "help" out. Nine out of ten times if you're not paying close attention to their help tactics, this can lead to disaster.

First off, let me state that I'm very grateful to have kids that are so willing to "help" me out. It's a nice alternative to kids that plop themselves on the couch all day and demand watching that bald, little brat Caillou on Nick Jr. (Although, sometimes I secretly wish that they were more of the TV watching type.) This leads me to:

Disaster Number 1 - Cooking

A few weeks back my kids "helped" me make meatballs and sauce to put in the crock-pot for dinner that night. Their help during this fun filled, cooking activity lead to everyone needing immediate baths, and a kitchen ceiling coated with red sauce. Don't ask. After cleaning everyone up, and attempting to clean spaghetti sauce off our ceiling, I clearly needed a shower myself. I thought that I could put a movie on to keep them occupied during my three minute shower sprint. As I left the room I heard my oldest whisper to my youngest "As soon as Mommy gets in the shower we can make something that we want to eat for dinner instead."  Obviously this prompted me to hold off on my shower sprint and see what they were up to. I left the room and stood by the door. I witnessed them gather their magnetic letters off of my dishwasher and attempt to put them in the crock pot to make "alphabet soup". Thankfully, I was able to stop them in their tracks. I did not fit a shower in, and that's okay. I didn't need anymore disasters . . . the kitchen ceiling was enough for one day.

Disaster number 2 - Laundry

What's better than laundry helpers? They can gather clothes, load and attempt to fold. They can even match your socks for you! They can also let a disposable diaper get past you and into the washing machine in the blink of an eye. I really thought my mom skills were right on track that day. . . I was able to feed my kids, dress them and had even timed my "helping hand" laundry cycle perfectly so that I could switch the clothes over to the dryer before we left to go to an animal adventure show at my oldest daughter's preschool. Well, not the case. I told my kids, "as soon as the washing machine beeps, we'll switch the stuff over to the dryer and we can go." I even had enough time to grab a coffee on the way. No, no I didn't. I had enough time to deal with the reality that I had a shredded wet diaper all over our clean clothes. I did not have time to clean that up, despite having my very ready and will helping hands, and still get to the school on time. (Even though I tried.) I left the big mess, skipped out on my coffee, but arrived just in time for the big boa constrictors to be released from their crates. Fun! Note to self: Don't wear a black sweater when attempting to clean a wet shredded diaper out of your washer and off of your clothes. Otherwise, you may end up at animal day with sticky, white diaper particles all over yourself resembling jumbo sized dandruff flakes. Fail.

Update: I'm happy to report that my kids have recently shown a sudden interest in the kid's TV show, Blues Clues. This has been my savior when it comes to taking showers. This also took a turn for the worst today while I was doing a load of laundry without my little helpers. (This was immediately following my shower and they were engaged in the show, so I did not interrupt them for help. . . I should have.) While I was in the bathroom gathering clothes, they took the laundry baskets and used them as make shift stools to get on the counter and get their hands on some cherry flavored Chapstick. During the 45 seconds that I was out of the room, they coated their hands with it and slapped chap-sticky hand prints all over our stainless steel fridge while yelling "PAW PRINT CLUES!" Sigh. At least they helped me clean it off.

The Quirky Confessions: Days in the Life of a Stay at Home Mom

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Wait Until I Tell Your Mother!

This morning started out no differently than any other recent morning . . . crazy.

I have to say, these days, I'm finding it harder and harder to stay in with my two busy girls. Getting out of the house is worth the morning struggle, most of the time. Wrestling with them to get clothes on, eat breakfast and get out the door at a reasonable time is a challenge. However, it’s far better than the alternative of watching them scale the bookshelves, climb the end tables and pull the plug protectors out of the walls! And, did I mention, they are quickly mastering the art of taking down the child proof gates?

A trip out of the house gives the cat a bit of a break too, a break from the constant "hugs" and tail pulling doled out by the girls. We have been working on learning the meaning of the word "gentle". In their eyes “gentle” means hugs and kisses. “Gentle” from a cat’s stand point probably seems quite smothering but, from an adult’s stand point these hugs really are the best. I am counting down the days till winter is over. The novelty and thrill of activities such as using markers, making Play-Doh and Lego creations and playing with indoor toys has worn off. 

Today’s plan was to venture off to Target in search of some new sippy cups. Charlotte has taken a liking to biting the tops off most of the ones we have. I'm chalking that up as a side effect of teething (only 4 more to go, then her molars!). The cups definitely needed replacing. When I got their coats Charlotte was eager and anxious to get out of the house while Lanie sat there and insisted on finishing up an episode of the show Caillou. (A show I promised myself that I would never let them watch . . . but I cracked).

For those unfamiliar with Caillou, he is a whiny little cartoon boy who does nothing but throws fits until he gets his way. A toddler watching Caillou is probably the equivalent of an adult watching Jerry Springer. Pure trash . . . why did I crack? . . . Why? Because this is the ONLY show they will sit down and watch. I'm not a huge TV person and neither are my kids but if I can find something that will keep them quiet and entertained without moving for a 1/2 hour straight so that I can take a shower then so be it. Even so, I'm still not sure this is a wise decision since I often hear Lanie refer to Charlotte as "Rosie" (Caillou's little sister). . . I swear if she starts whining like him, I will pull the plug. I'm not going to beat myself up over this though, it's a half hour show, it makes them laugh and, unlike Caillou's mother, I rarely give in. So, needless to say, today's episode of Caillou was cut short for Lanie so that we could head off to Target.

Our Target adventure was something else. Yesterday a Facebook friend posted this saying: "When my kids act up in public I like to yell, "WAIT UNTIL I TELL YOUR MOTHER!" and pretend they're not mine." I got a good chuckle over it but never imagined myself using that phrase the very next day. Then, there we were, in the middle of the check out line at Target and out it came. I'm not sure what brought me to that exact point. Maybe it was because Lanie was on the verge of throwing a tantrum over the fact that I would not buy her a Spanish speaking Dora the Explorer guitar. Or, maybe it was because Charlotte had managed to finagle herself out of the child safety strap in the shopping cart and was pulling this insane balancing act while standing up. Of course that happened while I was trying to distract Lanie from pulling the chocolate and gum off of the shelf beside us. Next thing you know, out of my mouth comes, "WAIT UNTIL I TELL YOUR MOTHER!", Charlotte quickly sat down. Lanie, on the other hand, rolled her eyes at me and yelled out "MOMMMMY!", I was busted. Oh well . . . I shook it off, paid for my sippy cups and walked over to Starbucks where I treated myself to an iced mocha frappuccino, which I did not share.

At the end of the day I remind myself that they are two spunky little girls who simply act their age. Even though I swore under my breath far more than I should have today, I laughed just as much.

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