The Punishment, Terrible Two's and Tantrums

Warning:
This blog contains jaw dropping material . . .
teeth grinding, hair pulling, it's 5 o'clock somewhere content.

Reader discretion is advised.

My goal by writing this is to, 
A. Attempt to relieve my own stress, and
B. Let other parents know that if you are dealing with hard times with your kids that you are not alone.

For the first time ever, both of my kids were faced with consequences that they did not like due to their actions.  Don't get me wrong, they've certainly dealt with consequences in the past due to misbehaving, they've just never dealt with so many all at once.

This morning's adventure out led to coming home early and the kids spending 45 minutes in their rooms. This was followed by no iPad, and no TV for the rest of the day. Just so we are all clear, I don't plop my kids in front of the TV, or let them play Candy Crush all day. They are allowed a little time each day to watch a favorite show, or play an educational game. That's why these times are a big deal. Some may think that a 45 minute time out in a room for an almost two and a three year old seems like a long time, but seriously, that's how long it took my husband and I to recover from this adventure out.

The morning started off fine. They slept well, (for them) and ate a good breakfast. My husband and I decided to run an errand at Target to get some things we needed for our upcoming birthday party for Charlotte. Oh yes, terrible two's! I remember them well since it seems like just yesterday that Lanie was two.

As we parked the car, the usual fuss about riding in the shopping cart started. This is not a huge deal for me. Both of them are typically good when it comes to holding your hand, and with my husband being there it usually makes shopping with them a little easier. It leaves me a free hand to work with. I mean how hard can it be to pick up a card and a stupid paper tablecloth for a birthday party? I said it before and I'll say it again . . . shopping with your kids is NEVER easy. As a matter of fact, I've decided I'm not doing it again until my kids are 12 and 13. I figure in about 10 years or so, it may be a little more manageable. Most likely by then I'll be dealing with a new set of challenges, and I'll have forgotten about all the tantrums they pull now.

When we got in the store my husband went off with my youngest, while Lanie and I searched for the perfect birthday card. That 25 second search turned into my oldest ripping cards off the shelf and throwing them on the floor. When I got down at her level and told her to pick up the cards she lost it saying, "NO, don't you tell me to pick them up. I'm not doing it." Really?! I sense a massive meltdown coming because that crap does not fly well with me. "Lanie, I'm going to ask you again nicely to pick up the cards. Someone worked really hard to put all these cards on the shelves. We need to put them back where they belong." Her response, "NO!" Really?! (a WTF moment). "Lanie, if you don't pick up the cards, I will bring you out to the car." Not only did I get a big fat "NO", I also got a slap in my leg. You bet that shit didn't fly well. My husband saw this and instantly scooped her up, kicking and screaming and brought her out to the car. One down.

Now I'm left with Charlotte and I'm thinking that I'll get my items and get out of there quick. Nope, not the case. Another meltdown, or more like five meltdowns. One in the toy isle that she ran to, one in the clothing department, one by the hair accessory shelf, one at the checkout, and the massive one as I struggled to carry her out of the store kicking and screaming all while attempting to maneuver the shopping cart that she refused to sit in. I could sense lots of onlookers staring, and I was so embarrassed that I could not make eye contact with anyone . . . until I had to. A woman in a caravan pulled up beside me and said "Hang in there. You're doing a good job." A big shout out to that woman. Thank you! At that point I desperately needed a kind vibe. 

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Kids Haircuts and Lollipops: A Tale That Will Stick

I have a love/hate relationship with lollipops. I love that I can easily bribe my kids into doing pretty much anything with them. I hate the aftermath. Lesson of the day - Lollipops suck...Well, they should be sucked.

A few weeks ago I took my three year old to get a haircut. She was beyond thrilled to go. She loves any, and all kinds of appointments. Dentist, doctor, you name it... but nothing beats the overpriced haircut that results in a trip to what resembles a young child's paradise. Cartoons on TV's, (note: my kids refuse to watch TV at home) fun music, a complimentary butterfly hair clip, a plastic, piece of crap toy and you guessed it, a lollipop. Her younger sister gets all this fun crap too, just for tagging along. Anyway, I continue to bring my kids to this money pit place because A. They enjoy it, and B. Anyone who is brave enough to go at a small child's head with a sharp object, and can actually be successful at it, is considered a talented pro in my book. Props to anyone who can cut a kids hair without making it look like a hack job. I've seen my share of hack job haircuts out there. You'll never catch me with scissors.

As usual my kids walked away happily sucking on their pops, and I was happy with the great job they did with her hair. Lanie, my oldest, will often devour her pop in one bite, while Charlotte tends to nurse hers. One.lick.at.a.time. This can go on for hours... No joke. When we got home I brought the girls into their playroom when it soon dawned on me that Charlotte was no longer holding her pop. Her hand was spared from the usual kung-fu grip. (A defense tactic she uses in attempts to keep it away from her jealous sister who ate her pop about an hour ago.) I asked where she put it. She kept saying "I share". Share with who?  "I share".  I searched for about 20 minutes and could not find it anywhere. This drove my slightly OCD self into a panic. Where the hell is it?!? Two weeks later, after several unsuccessful searches, my oldest found the pop. It was stuck to a life size stuffed duck. Aaah, she "shared" with the duck. This was not only a sense of relief that the pop was found, but a sense of accomplishment due to the fact that we now have one less jumbo sized, stuffed creature in this house. That duck made his way right to the trash barrel. Don't worry, my kids didn't even notice since they have plenty of other life sized stuffed animals creeping around here.

This week I decided to take my youngest, Charlotte, for her first hair cut. She did great, and again, I was very pleased with the outcome... A great haircut. Despite my oldest getting all the usual junk that comes with tagging along, she was floored that she was not getting her hair cut too. I explained to her that she just had her hair cut a couple of weeks ago, and she'll get another one next time. She responded loudly with - "I am going to run away and be Ke$ha." Ummm okay, she's three. She only knows Ke$ha from the radio in the car. She loves music, and will often ask who sings every song that comes on. Yes, I am guilty of listening to the radio verses The Wiggles... But seriously, it could have been worse. She could have said Nicki Minaj or something. It was kind of embarrassing, but on a good note, she did not attempt to run away.

As usual we got home and went into the playroom, and like always Lanie's pop was finished eons ago, and Charlotte had hers clenched in her fist for safe keeping. As I ran into the other room to answer the phone I suddenly heard "Oh no! What's that? What's that in my hair?" I ran back to the room, and sure enough Lanie was standing there with a sticky, orange lollipop dangling and knotted in the back of her hair. I'm not sure if Charlotte decided to "share" again, or if this was some sort of attempt by Lanie to get a haircut. Needless to say, she did not get a haircut. All she got was a bath. No more lollipops! Well, at least until the next haircut.

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My Top Mom Addictions

Here are my top mom addictions. What are yours?

1. Coffee

I need it, I want it, I have to have it . . . immediately. I get up 15 minutes before my kids, every day, to brew a pot and have a cup . . . okay, more like the pot. (minus the travel size mug my husband fills for work.) Some days if I feel like I'm running an insane asylum, I will pack my kids up and go to the Dunkin Donuts drive-thru. I always hope for that extra boost of energy, and go with the "If you can't beat em', join em'" attitude. It usually doesn't work, and I get roped into buying my kids munchkins. FAIL.

2. Taking pictures
    of my kids
"Oh look, you managed to climb onto the roof of your 5 foot high, outdoor play house. Not safe!" *Snap a pic* Do I think this is cute? No. It's proof of the craziness that can go on here at times . . . It kind of justifies all the coffee drinking. I need it to keep up with all these cute, and sometimes not so cute moments.

3. Candy Crush
Hi, my name is Laurel.  I am a 36 year old, mother of two who is addicted to crushing candy. Let's face it, sometimes you just need a break.
I promise, if my addiction ever leads to any of the sayings on these ecards, I'll stop . . . I think.

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Sibling Rivalry: Shark-like Behavior, During Shark Week or Not, is Unacceptable!

The day has come . . . I've started to get my first dose of sibling rivalry with my kids. To be honest, I'm surprised it took so long. They are now three and just shy of two, and I can only imagine that it will get worse as they get older. They have always played well together. They respect each other's space, but are quick to give each other hugs too. They have impressed me with the way they share. Very recently, their sisterly bond has taken a turn. A love/hate, BFF/worst enemy turn that often has me grinding my teeth.

It started last week. It was a rainy morning and I was trying my best to keep my girls entertained indoors. I brought out two pop up tents, a tunnel and 200 mini balls. I thought for sure this would keep my kids entertained for a while since it's not something I bring out all that often. Even though they are good cleaner uppers, this is definitely a once in a while, rainy day activity. After about 50 balls into the clean up process, it becomes torturous for all of us. Within minutes of me dumping out that huge bag of balls, both kids decided they weren't fun anymore. Instead, they opted to put American Girl Doll tights on their heads and chase each other around with spatulas. They renamed themselves "The Amazing Baking Buddies" and were content and full of giggles. It was loud, but not nearly as loud as it got when I left the room.

As I was putting laundry away the giggles I heard coming from the room turned to yells, then screams, then cries. As I rushed back into the room I saw the two of them wrestling on the floor over a pair of fuchsia doll tights. I'm not sure who took whose tights, but what I did see was my youngest lean over and bite my oldest daughters arm . . . hard. I broke up the fight, and firmly told my youngest that biting is not okay. I comforted my oldest, washed the bite and applied ice. She calmed down quickly, and liked the fact that her younger sister was jealous of the special treatment she was getting. I'm not sure what was so special about ice cubes, but she liked them so much that I heard her encouraging her sister to

bite her again later that afternoon as I was in the other room. "Do it Charlotte, bite my arm. You'll get in trouble, and I'll get ice. Hahaha." I rushed back to the room, and thankfully I heard Charlotte telling Lanie "NO BITING". Maybe it was just a one time deal that happened to coincide with the upcoming Shark Week. Whatever the case, Jaws like behavior is one thing that I have a hard time tolerating. Shark Week or not, biting is unacceptable!

My youngest has been working hard to outshine her sister with the potty training. While they are both well on their way, Charlotte shows a much greater interest. Not only will she tell us that she has to go, but she'll climb, and jump childproof gates to get to the adult size potty in the bathroom. Apparently the little potty (that is always accessible in the room they are playing in) is for babies, and so are childproof gates. The climbing . . . Dear God . . . the climbing . . . IS the biggest teeth grinder of them all. I did let the gate climbing slide since she actually used the potty. Plus, that incident was not nearly as bad as finding her sitting in the middle of the kitchen counter, playing with a box of tissues all during the 27.2 seconds that it took me to run a bag of trash down to my garage.

On top of the fighting, biting, and climbing, the Awkward Mom Moment, award of the week, goes to Lanie. During our trip to the local wholesale store, we were in the check out lane, when she decided to strike up a conversation with the woman behind us. It went as follows:

Lanie: "Lovely day. Actually, it's a great day. We're buying Popsicles. What are you buying?"

Woman: speechless and turning bright red

Lanie: "Are you being shy? It's okay. I was shy once too."

Woman: now dripping sweat

I don't blame this woman one bit for not answering the question. I'd be speechless and sweaty too if a three year old interrogated me about the jumbo sized, variety pack of condoms that I was buying.

I looked away in shock. OMG shock. This stuff never happens when people have simple things like snack packs in their shopping carts.

Shark Week 2013 starts August 4th!

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The Key to Getting Top Notch Behavior from the Kids

Did the title fool you? Do you really think I hold the key to opening up all the secrets that result in good behavior? Ha! On the slim chance that I did fool you with my rants, think again . . . but if you know somebody who has all the secrets, send them my way.

I'm a firm believer that all children are different. What tricks work for some, may not work well for others. My kids are like night and day. They are such polar opposites of each other that I've pretty much gone down the whole list of parenting techniques and approaches when it comes to encouraging good behavior. Let's be honest, kids can be just a tad bit bipolar. You never really know what (or who) you're going to get, and when you're going to get it.

We all know the basics - well rested, well fed . . . blah blah blah, usually goes in your favor, but it's never a guarantee. I can tell you this much, my kids are always in bed at a reasonable hour. They are always encouraged to take naps, or "rest". They are also offered nutritious meals and snacks throughout the day. It's not my fault if they choose to sing really loud during quiet time, or eat one cheerio and chalk it up as breakfast. I try my best to get them to rest and eat, but I also refuse to force feed vegetables in their faces. The airplane approach only goes so far these days. As far as nap goes . . . sometimes it just doesn't go, and I accept that. (As long as I have five minutes to take a shower.) Plus, no naps just result in an earlier bedtime . . . for all of us. (You better believe my patience has usually been thrown out the window by 4 pm on no nap days.) I've become a master at keeping my composure though . . . most of the time.

This is my attitude: (and some people may look at it as a bad attitude, but it works for me.) I expect the worst, but hope for the best . . . for everything. Example: You're throwing a birthday party for your kid during my kids "rest time"? Sure! We'll be there! Even though it may result in what could be the most massive meltdown, EVER. This is what I expect, however, I am usually surprised and pleased by the outcome. Usually my kids are having too much fun to show signs of being tired, and they'll save the meltdown for me at home later. I'm okay with that. I go into whatever it is we're doing with a positive attitude for my kids sake and everyone else, although there is often a little voice in the back of my head that says "This is going to be a total sh!t show." You know what Little Orphan Annie says though - "You're never fully dressed without a smile!" Good advice - Smiling goes a long way. So does talking to your kids.

Over the past week we had one visit to the pediatrician for a 3 year check up, and two first time visits to the dentist. A lead test for my big kid,  and a stranger sticking their hands in both of my kids mouths. Now keep in mind I'm totally thinking "sh!t show", but I hyped up these visits with a Little Orphan Annie smile, and told my kids how great it is to go to the doctor and dentist for check-ups. I didn't overkill the talks, but answered any and all questions they had with a big KOOL-AID smile. My oldest had lots of questions and comments about going to these appointments, and my youngest listened in on everything. This resulted in lots of big, cheesy smiles and excitement from me. I mean everybody loves to start off their Monday morning bright and early with a trip to the dentist or doctor, right? Well, my kids certainly do. 

On appointment day my oldest woke up with just as much excitement as she had on her birthday. She was tickled pink about her trip to the doctor. Both the doctor and nurse could not stop laughing because she could barely contain her excitement. During her lead test the nurse advised her that she may want to look away instead of looking at the needle in her arm. She responded with "Thank you, Nurse! This is just so great! I love lead tests! Now I can go to college!" I'm not really sure where the whole college comment came from, but it gave us all a good laugh. We had a similar outcome during our visit to the dentist. Both girls

were thrilled to be up and out of the house at 7:30 am to start our day off with a new adventure. Lanie, my oldest, did spectacular and got a super report on the great brushing she does. I was nervous about Charlotte and was told that they may not be able to get a full cleaning/exam. They encourage kids to go at her age more for the experience and to prepare them for this when they are a little older. She blew us all away with her stellar behavior. She sat still, let them examine and clean her teeth with no trouble at all! The dentist said Charlotte put her teenage patients to shame! I was amazed by their role model behavior.

I'm thinking it may be time to throw my secret  "Negative Nancy" approach out the window. Not everything is always going to be a sh!t show. My kids have proven that to me. Actually, they have shown me what the true definition of amazing is. Just ask my oldest . . . She always rants and raves over how "amazing" she and her sister are. You'd trip over their amazingness if you weren't looking. Truth is, they are pretty amazing. Especially during their visits to doctor and dentist offices. We'll just save the flip outs for the grocery store. After all, nobody is perfect, and I'm okay with that too.

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The Unexpected Visitor on a Scorching Hot Day

It's been hot here. Scorching hot. The type of hot that gives you few options for keeping your kids entertained. Indoors is always an option, but not always fun. You can only remind my kids not to put Barbie doll shoes in the toilet, not to eat play-doh, or to keep paint on the paper and not in each others hair so many times before you sound like a broken record. I save that stuff for rainy days. I'm more of an outdoors person. My kids are too. Unfortunately, it's been too hot for walks, playgrounds and picnics in the field. The typical stay at home mom strolls around the air conditioned mall get old too. Especially when they always include a visit to the second floor play place. Those visits, more often than not, result in tantrums when it's time to leave. The thought of wrestling my kids into their car seats in the 95+ degree weather . . . forget it . . . I don't even want to think about that. It's just too hot. We've been using the blow up pool and water table, all day, everyday, for I don't know how many days in a row. This does not get old. This $7 pool from Job Lots has been my savior. What can I say . . . we're living large. I set up my back deck every morning at 7:30 am with all their water toys for the day, and we are golden. They love it, and I do too.

This morning was different. I went out bright and early to set up shop, and much to my surprise, I was not alone. I heard some rustling in the leaves over by our woodpile about 15 feet away. I stopped what I was doing to get a closer look. Suddenly, a face peeked out of the bottom of the pile. It appeared to be a monstrous woodchuck, or a groundhog, or maybe a beaver of some sort. (Please excuse my inability to specify the exact species that hissed at me as I stood there, frightened, with my hose. I grew up in more of a city atmosphere. This stuff didn't exist in my backyard growing up.) As this plump, porcupine type creature is continuing to hiss at me, I'm thinking "Oh no, you are not going to ruin our pool day." I took a step forward with my hose in hand causing it to charge towards me. It was at that point that I thought I heard more of them. My first thought was this damn thing gave birth to a litter of baby porcuwoodchuckians in my woodpile. I ran inside. I had to keep my composure in front of my kids and calmly explain that there was a change of plans. We were not going to have a pool day, instead we were just going to stay cool inside with the AC and some fun arts and crafts or whatever.

My kids spent the day engaging in various forms of dramatic play. They pretty much kept each other entertained, while I spent a good amount of time staring out the window at the woodpile waiting for this beast to show its face again. 

As the kids played, one of the conversations I overheard was as follows:
Lanie - "Let's play a game called you be Daddy and I'll be Mommy. This means you have to be the griller, cause you're Daddy. I have to be Mommy. This means I eat all the steak. This is just pretend though. I could never eat as much steak as Mommy. She's all steak, and some bones too."
Charlotte - "Okay. Yeah, steak and bones."

I can only imagine the rep I'm going to get when this kid starts preschool. Although, maybe it won't be so bad. I did witness that unidentified creature run off. I even went over to the woodpile and banged on it with one of my kid's toys. The coast was clear . . . the pool was open for the afternoon! Mom saves the day! If approaching a creature free woodpile with a plastic golf club counts . . .

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The Dog Days of Summer: Us versus Them

With summer in full swing and the temperatures rising, my husband and I have been trying our best to keep our cool. It's not always easy, but we manage. Let's just say, it's been a full four days of button pushing and testing limits.


The days leading up to my now three year old's birthday were magical. It was like a switch had flipped. The occasional dose of "terrible twos" appeared to be out of her system. We were seeing a new light. My youngest was following her big sisters

lead, and role model behavior. Quite frankly, my husband and I were in disbelief over how smoothly the days were going. It was nice . . . while it lasted. The good behavior and not so good behavior definitely seems to come in waves. We have learned to take the good with the bad and the bad with the ugly, but at the end of the day we know it's all worth it. We always end the day with a smile. (Even if it's due to the simple fact that it's bed time.)

The past few days have been tiring. My oldest no longer takes naps. Actually, she hasn't for a long time. She still needs them, otherwise from 4 PM on we enter "the witching hours". Up until recently I could usually bank on one four hour power nap a week, which seemed to do the trick. (For all of us). While she would play catch up with rest, it would usually give me a break to catch up on things around the house. Now, instead of sleeping, or resting, she sings songs. Really loud songs about butterflies, stars, or shoes. Though they are very creative and cute, they will often wake up her sister. Let me tell you . . . that's not cute.

There's a saying "never wake a sleeping baby", and even though Charlotte is not a baby anymore, she still falls into that category. NEVER wake a sleeping Charlotte, ever. EVER, ever, or you will pay. We paid twice over the past couple of days. I won't get into all of the details, but I will say this. . . While some kids display overtired behaviors with grouchiness and temper tantrums, my kids turn into a whole new level of crazy. Like wild animal crazy. By the end of the week we ended up with a broken kitchen cabinet, and two shredded throw pillows. I'm not even exactly sure how this happened. Maybe during the game of "Let's Be Pirates" when they were chasing each other around with plastic forks while yelling "Arghhh, Matey!" For the record, I don't typically let my kids play with plastic forks. They must have found and hid them during the family party we had for Lanie's birthday.  The second that I reprimanded them for this, my oldest yelled out "Aye Aye Captain", and immediately gathered the forks and put them on the counter.  I wasn't aware that I ran such a tight ship.


My youngest throws her food. ALL. THE. TIME. It's awful. Mealtimes are not fun, they're stressful. She has got the arm, and aim of a professional baseball player. She landed a piece of steak tip in my ice water the other night. I didn't even realize until much later when my husband pointed it out. Which leads me to my final vent. . . Feelings.

I talk to my kids a lot about how their actions can cause reactions. Good or bad.

Example: Charlotte, when you throw steak tips in my water, or scrambled eggs on the floor it makes me feel angry and sad.

I just had to have a talk with Lanie about people's feelings while we were at the grocery store. We had to make a trip to the restroom. She had finished up and was washing her hands. Suddenly she yelled out "Is that a turkey?" It was not a turkey. It was a woman entering the restroom wearing a big poofy, dress. It was black, with white spots and some red mixed in. She also had big dangly feather earrings. As the woman made her way into the stall I nervously said to Lanie "Oh, you want to get turkey today? Okay" I was trying to gear the conversation in a different direction, even though I clearly knew that was not what she meant. She replied, "No, I don't like turkey. Is that a turkey that just went into the potty? Hey are you a turkey?" Now, I don't blame her for making the turkey comparison. Actually, I agreed 100%. This woman did look like a turkey, although I didn't let Lanie know that. It was my first official OMG, I am so embarrassed by what my kid just said, get me out of here right now, moment. I quietly said no, and scooped her up and out of the bathroom. We spent the rest of the shopping trip talking about being careful about what you say out loud. I said that the colors of her dress did look like a turkey, but she was a person who has feelings, and calling people turkeys is not nice. I asked her if she would like it if someone called her a turkey. She replied with "Yes. No, actually I want to be a Zebra." Kids will be kids, and I'm unsure if she got my whole point. That being said, she'll learn eventually. Just like Charlotte will learn not to throw her food. They just may need a few thousand reminders along the way.

Needless to say, it's been one of those weeks where I have felt my blood pressure rising on more than one occasion. My husband sensed this and could also relate. Yesterday he sent me out for some kid-free retail therapy. I got new shoes. Shoes kind of do make tough times better. He left for work this morning after giving us all a kiss goodbye, and quietly wishing me "Good Luck." He gets it. In the end, we win. All of us.

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Ages and Stages and Words With Kids

As of this Thursday I will no longer have two toddlers. I can officially up the ranks to one toddler and one preschooler in our household. This means a whole new level of fun. This also means I really need to step up my game.

Over years and years of working with kids I've learned to never ask a child anything in question form. If you do, you're most likely setting yourself up for that favorite word . . . "NO"! I'll admit, I must be some sort of slacker when it comes to practicing what I preach. I hear that word a lot. Even if I ask something like "Do you want to go to the park?" I'll often get a big, fat "NO". Making a statement like "Come on, lets go to the park!", usually has a better effect. I've also learned that giving kids choices ends up with better results as well. "Do you want to wear this outfit or this outfit?" I'll usually get my way with the clothes, but at times an extra accessory might be thrown in the mix. For example: A summer sundress with a winter hat. You know what, you want to wear a winter hat in 95 degree weather . . . fine. Some choices have consequences though, and I usually get my way as soon as the first drop of sweat rolls down her face. Remember picking your battles is key. Plus we have AC, or as my oldest calls it . . . ABC. If we were heading out somewhere I may be inclined to actually take a stab at that battle.

Now that I have a (almost) three year old running around the house, I have to be very cautious when it comes to wording my statements as well. This past Sunday we celebrated her birthday with a family party. The night before I had taken her to a party shop to pick out some balloons. I said to her on the car ride over that she could pick out any balloon that she wanted. She was very excited. She ran right over to the balloon section and within seconds had two favorites. . . The first was a large, black balloon that read "Over The Hill".  The second was a big pink playboy bunny. My thoughts: Crap. I told her she could pick out ANYTHING. Whoops. Now I'm not one to go back on my word, however, my first thought was . . . your party is at our house, not Hugh Heffner's mansion. My second thought was . . . my plan is to throw a party geared more towards turning three, not three going on senior citizen. Thankfully, I was able to direct her attention to a large number three and a big yellow smiley face wearing a party hat. It only took about 15 minutes to convince her that those were just as good. I was lucky.

I've also been saying things to her like "You're so big! I can't believe you're turning three!" Well that came back to haunt me too. This was one of our recent breakfast conversations . . .

Lanie: "Mommy, I don't want to watch Arthur. I want Bouchard." 

Me: "What is Bouchard?" 

Lanie: *rolls eyes* "Channel 7 Pete guy who tells me if its a pool day."  

(Pete Bouchard is a local weather reporter that she has caught on the morning news a few times.)

Me: "Well, news is for big people. I think Arthur is a better choice." 

Lanie: "I'm almost three. Bouchard is fine." 

I'll bet if I looked up "age three" in The Parent Handbook it would read as follows:

Welcome to 36 months! The age that talking back is the norm, and they are too smart for their own good. You thought "NO" was bad. Good luck! ;-)

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Changing With The Times

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. Especially with my oldest turning 3 at the end of this month. It started with . . . what should I get her for her birthday? What did I like when I was 3? Then it dawned on me that I really don't remember much of anything about being 3. I remember getting a baby sister when I was 3. I remember my mother leaving me to go to the hospital to have her, but that's pretty much all I remember. This got me thinking even more. More to the times when I was a bit older and all of the fond memories that I had as a kid. It was a time when life was a lot easier. Everyone seemed to live more care free. 

You wanna lick the chocolate off the beaters while we make brownies? Sure thing! Now it's more like . . . AHHHHH don't touch that! It has raw egg on it.

OR

Oh, you're thirsty? Well look at that you're in luck! There's a hose right there! Now it's like . . . AHHHHH don't drink the pool water! You'll probably get some sort of bacterial infection, or a flesh eating virus if you drink that!

I don't remember car seats, even though I'm pretty sure I had one. I remember riding in the way back of my parents old Suburban and bouncing around with the groceries. I remember riding in the back of pick-up trucks. I remember being on my fathers shoulders while he water skied. These are things that my kids will never experience. They won't know that at one point in time Michael Jackson was super cool. Actually, they'll probably never know who Michael Jackson was. They'll never know the feeling of getting shot in the back with a cap disk gun while playing "Cops and Robbers". I'm not saying that's a bad thing . . . I'm just sayin'.  They'll never know the awful feeling of sliding over a rock while using a slip and slide. (Unless they go to someone else's house. We really don't have the yard for one.) They'll never know the feeling of being so young and free. The feeling of leaving your house first thing in the morning and not coming back till you were hungry, or when the street lights came on. 

My mom was one of the lucky ones, she knew she could bank on me being home by 5:30 on the dot. Just in time to watch The Brady Bunch. Parents were so laid back then. They'd be quick to hand over their spare change so you could ride your bike (without a helmet) to the corner store to get a Richie's Slush, or a Raspberry Lime Rickey from the local ice cream shop. Moms didn't seem to worry too much. I think the biggest concern back then was who shot the iconic villainous oilman, better known as J.R. Ewing in the hit series Dallas.

I broke bones and don't remember a time that I didn't have skinned knees. I lived life to the fullest. I think it's safe to say times have changed. For the better?  I don't know . . . you can be your own judge of that.

Parents tend to freak out more when their child gets hurt. I've observed so many parents at the playground not even giving their kids space to play because they're so fearful of injury. Loosen up . . . that's what playgrounds are for. Kids jump, climb and run . . . let them. Kids get hurt too . . . it's part of life.

I worry about the fact that I let my kids play educational games on the iPad for a maximum of an hour a day. Then I look back to the endless times that I played Mario Brothers all day if it was raining outside. I turned out fine.

I worry about my kids eating habits. Are they getting enough vegetables? Probably not, but they are always offered to them. Just like us, kids will eat when they are hungry. I can't  force broccoli in their mouths. (Despite my airplane like attempts, I gave up on stressing about that.) And yes, we are still on a big grilled cheese kick. I think it's been 437 consecutive days that I've been making them, but you know what? They are eating.

My biggest pet peeve about parents these days is not letting their kids explore and get dirty. I am a borderline OCD, clean freak with 2 small children. My house gets messy and I deal. My kids get dirty and I deal. We paint, we make mud pies, and we fill up buckets of water with bubbles to give their dolls baths . . . we have fun. Though they wont have the same fond memories that I had as a kid I want them to have good ones.

When we started up The Quirky Confessions website and I started blogging, an old boss of mine emailed me. She gave me some good advice about my somewhat new role in life as a stay at home mom. She said, "The days are long, but the years are short. Enjoy it." Those are words to live by.  

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