The Christmas Sugar High - Detoxing the Preschoolers

Over the past couple of weeks my kids have been partying like mini rock stars. Late nights, missing out on naps and living off of things like sugar cookies and candy canes have become the "norm". With a large family and numerous holiday parties, it's been hard to stick to our typical daily routine of grilled cheese sandwiches and at least an attempt at rest time. It's been fun (for them). Okay, it's been fun for me as well, but guess who gets stuck paying the price during the aftermath of it all? Me. *SIGH*. That really hasn't been fun.

It started the day after Christmas when I stuck to my vow of "NO MORE SUGAR" and "You guys are definitely taking naps this afternoon. No ifs, ands, or buts!" I mean seriously, this Christmas craziness had to come to a screeching halt at some point. What better day than the one after Christmas. It's over and my kids were slowly starting to come down from their chocolate Christmas tree, cookie, candy cane, holiday colored gummy bear high. That high, turned into an all time low. . . fast. They spent that morning crying, fighting over their toys, and throwing fits on our family room floor. It was so bad that I secretly confiscated the chocolate Santa's from their Christmas stockings and hid in my room for a few minutes. While my kids duked it out, I ate their Santas. It was a much better choice than the alternative of whipping myself up a dirty martini at 8 AM and attempting to deal with the madness that was going on around me. That's another vow that I've promised to stick to . . . never become a stay at home mom alcoholic. If I stuck to my guns that morning, I'm pretty confident I'll succeed.

My in-laws phoned my husband that morning while he was at work and asked if we'd like to join them for dinner out. My first thought was yes! No cooking, no cleaning and I can get out of the house . . . YES! My second thought, the realistic one, was that there is NO way I can bring my kids out like this. I made a deal with my kids - no more tantrums, no more fighting and if they rested during nap we'd meet their grandparents out for dinner at our favorite dinner spot. (The place that serves bottomless bowls of popcorn.) Besides one sword fight using fairy princess wands as their weapon of choice, the afternoon went smooth. The crying and fighting over everything came to an end, and they both had a decent rest time. A Christmas miracle! We made it out to dinner and we had been doing good with our no more sugar kick! Until, while out doing errands, the lady at the bank handed my kids lollipops at 10 AM this morning. Whatever. I believe that everything in moderation is okay. They just better not expect me to fork over sugar cookies for dinner. Not happening.

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All I Want For Christmas

I want the sore throat and cold I've been battling for the past few days to move onto its next victim. (As long as it's not my kids, or husband.) Actually, I don't wish it on anyone. Blah. Moms should not be allowed to get sick.

I  want a minimum of 7 hours of sleep a night. That means no loud singing, no creeping out of your room and turning on every light in the house at 3 AM, but most importantly, don't sneak into my room and stand beside my bed and stare at me. I can hear you breathing, and I know you're there, even though sometimes I pretend I don't. Seriously, I go to bed after Jeopardy is over . . . (When did I turn into my mother?) Anyway, 7 hours of sleep shouldn't be that hard, and now that I put bells on your door I have a jump start and I'll know when you're coming. No more creepin'.

Last, but not least - if you're going to have an "accident" on my kitchen floor, please don't pick up the poop and blame it on the cat.


Love, Mom 

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The Christmas Miracles

The past few days have been go go go. I'm actually surprised I'm finding the time to sit down and write about it, or the time to breathe for that matter. The hustle and bustle of the holidays always seems to stress me out. I feel as if Thanksgiving to Christmas is an entire month straight of pure craziness. If you asked me a week ago, that's exactly how I'd tell you I felt - crazy, stressed, anxious, how am I ever going to get all the stuff that needs to get done, done? Not today though. This past week has not only been productive, but fun!

It started when I broke my promise of never taking my kids shopping by myself again. My oldest was desperate for some new shoes for the holidays, so I ventured out on a rainy day, a day that I just didn't want to be cooped up indoors. This shopping trip was phenomenal. Not only did we get new shoes, but we left the store with zero temper tantrums, from either kid. Amazing! I was so impressed by their good behavior that I told them that if they each took a good rest during nap time that I'd take them to visit Santa that afternoon. That's just what we did. I picked up my mom and we went to visit the best mall Santa around. One that usually comes with a long line of hyped up kiddos. Not the case that late afternoon. We only had to wait behind four other families! Again, amazing! My girls were very excited to see the big guy in red, and happily smiled as they sat with him. We were able to get a great picture! (One that did not include me like last years Santa's pic.) Last year they were a few seconds away from nervous breakdowns and I had to jump in the photo at the last minute. Needless to say, I was beyond pleased that I missed out on this photo op.

Speaking of pictures, I declared one day this week to be holiday card photo shoot day. My kids were not thrilled but the candy canes I gave them first thing that morning definitely helped. The sugar high later was a bit of a different story, but all and all I had a few decent shots. My mother-in-law designed a great card for me, and I got those bad boys printed Friday and spent the night addressing lots and lots of Christmas Cards. That tedious task is done! Did I mention, I even found time to bake two dozen cookies with my kids and eat a whole dozen of them? (I shared the other dozen with my husband and girls.)

Over the weekend we spent a day with my dad and step mom. We got our Christmas tree, and my kids got spoiled. A nice lunch, a trip to a toy store, and $48 trip to the candy store. Pricey, I know, but that was only because my husband said that he really liked the look of some dark chocolate turtle candies that my father insisted on buying. We brought them home and I secretly had them for breakfast the next morning. We spent the rest of the day putting up our tree and decorating the outside of our house. The biggest miracle of all was when I dug out our Christmas lights and all of them worked! I didn't even have to spend the usual two hours trying to untangle them. The only thing that's left on my list is a few more presents to buy, and to lose the extra five pounds I've packed on from eating cookies, candies and chocolate Santa's.

I got this . . . bring it Santa!

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My Biggest Pains of Christmas

1.
This year Santa made his big appearance at the local mall the day after Halloween. Jesus, I haven't even polished off all the peanut butter cups from my kids candy buckets yet and their already throwing candy canes in my face?

2. 
The fact that every time a commercial comes on the TV for a Lalaloopsy Doll my kids go crazy yelling and screaming "That's it! That's what I want Santa to bring me!" They each have a specific doll that they want. Easy right? Wrong. The problem is that each day that specific doll changes to a different one. When I say things like "Didn't you say you wanted Santa to get you the pink one yesterday?" I'll usually get a big fat "NO, I said I wanted the one with stripes. That's the one!!" I really hope I don't eff this up. When it's all said and done, they'll get what they get and they won't get upset. . .Well, they may get upset . . . just know that "Santa" listened to the indecisiveness Every. Single. Day. for two months straight . . . I tried.

3.

I have to get down to my basement and find that large ball of Christmas lights that was nicely placed on our outdoor railings last year. One day when my kids both decided to take a nap and Christmas was over, I decided to take them all down. That did not go over so well.

4.
I'll have to wrestle tights on my girls for several different holiday parties. Just thinking about this is giving me anxiety. Next . . .

5.
Taking the perfect Christmas card photo where both of my girls are sitting still and looking happy. Then, taking the time to address and mail all those cards. We have a big family to send cards to, so this will perhaps be a good excuse to break out the wine.


6.
We haven't even made it to Thanksgiving yet and most stores have jumped on the band wagon of decorating early. Loud Christmas music, along with fake trees, shiny stars and colorful ornaments make for chaotic times while shopping with your kids. Who am I kidding? I'm just using this is as an excuse for already chaotic times while shopping with my kids. This added eye candy just enhances the chaos to whole new level of crazy.

In the end, the memories of cookie baking, decorating the tree, reading our favorite Christmas stories, and the smiles on their faces Christmas morning will all be worth it. (Provided that Santa gets the right damn doll!)

Wake me up when December ends . . .
Oh right, it hasn't even started yet. 'Tis the season for limited (if any) parking spaces, sugar amped-up/hyped-up kiddos and egg nog spiked with the strong stuff. I heart Christmas.

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Kids: You Better Not Pout, You Better Not Cry

Okay, so it's September and perhaps it's a little too early to be tossing out the whole Santa is watching you card . . .
Forget it, it's NEVER too early. If the stores can throw Christmas out there before Thanksgiving, or in some cases before Halloween, so can I. Honestly, my kids gave me the idea.

For the past two weeks my three year old has been fixated on Santa. (I find this amusing since this is our Santa picture from last year). For the record: I DID NOT want to be included in this picture, it was the only way I could get my girls within a ten foot radius of the big guy. Trust me, despite my efforts of trying to run away, the photographer convinced me that it would be great for me to just "join in, take the picture with them!" Ugh. To this day I consider it a miracle that I was able to pry them from my legs, and cough up the $25 bucks for this gem of a pic. However, I was firm when declining the $50 jumbo pack "deal". Anyway, my oldest has been talking about presents, Christmas trees and is even making up her own little jingles about Santa and Elves. My youngest is quick to follow her big sister's lead, so it's been just like living in the North Pole around here, although I'm starting to wonder if Hell is around the corner.

Please excuse my bitterness . . . I've been living on caffeine and DayQuil for two days straight. I haven't been sick in a long time, and these are the only things that are keeping me going. On a side note, there should be some sort of rule that states - IF YOU'RE A MOM, YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO GET SICK.  BAH-HUMBUG. 

So, I feel like I got hit by a bus, and with my kids constantly bickering about who Santa's favorite little helper is, the days have seemed pretty tiring. Things took a turn for the worse this morning when my husband left for work and I no longer had my weekend long, tag team partner to help out. Sick mom against the sassy Santa loving sisters who are going through a what's mine is mine phase.

It's funny, people always said to me when I had my girls close together that they would be the "bestest of friends . . . just wait and see." I'm still waiting. Good things come in time I guess, and like any siblings, there's rivalry.

Today my kids fought about whose mini muffins were bigger. They fought over who was going to wear a blue winter hat and who was going to wear a red winter hat. (I'm well aware that it's not winter hat weather, but my kids dug them out and apparently wearing the red hat means you're Santa.) The final draw was when they got into a full fledged, royal rumble over who was going to be the singer and who was going to be the drummer while singing a song they made up called "Santa, Santa All The Way". Drum sticks were flying and winter hats were being stomped on while I'm sitting there wishing I was stuck in an office cubicle with a box of tissues. (I hardly ever wish my stay at home mom days away for a job in an office, but feeling under the weather has clearly gotten the best of me.) So, out it came, 

"You know what? I'll bet if you guys keep acting like this Santa will skip our house. No presents, no stockings, just reindeer poop! He watches EVERYTHING, and only visits kids that behave!" 

Their mouths dropped to the floor and from that point on the fighting stopped. "I don't like reindeer poop!" What's the over under on me being able to put an Elf on the Shelf to watch over them while I curl up on the couch for a nap this afternoon? I'll probably have to settle for another cup of coffee and some cold meds. On the plus side, I've totally got Santa on my side.

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