Friday, April 26, 2013

It's All Fun and Games Til Someone Gets High Fived In The Face


It's All Fun & Games Til Someone Gets High-Fived in the Face ~ TheQuirkyConfessions.com
High-Five (Slang)

Noun
A gesture of greeting or congratulation in which two people slap raised palms together.

Verb
To greet or congratulate (a person) in this way.

High-fives have been taken to a whole new level at our house. There is not a day that goes by without the occurrence of at least 50 of them. Typically these happen after a successful trip to the potty, or after a good job eating a meal. The majority of the high-fives are with my oldest daughter's lovey "Gray Bunny". Bunny comes everywhere with us.  Although Bunny is not allowed outside or into stores and restaurants, she always accompanies us during car rides.  When it's time to leave Bunny, everyone must give her a hug, a kiss and a high five (both paws). When visitors come to our house often times they have to do the same. 

Bunny is not allowed at the table during meals. I'm in constant fear that she will get spilled on which will lead to a "bath" in the washing machine. If I can be completely honest, bath time for bunny is a full laundry cycle of hell. Plus, Bunny is well loved and I'm not exactly sure how many more washes she can handle. We do have a back up bunny. It's the very same bunny, but white. Put it this way . . . it's not really a "back up" since my oldest now totes this bunny around too.  With "White Bunny" in the picture, this just means double the high-fives.

This morning when my husband left for work it was the same routine as every day. Lanie gave him a hug, a kiss and a high-five and Charlotte did the same. Then Lanie came running back over to Dan with her bunnies and demanded they get hugs, kisses and high-fives too. Dan granted her wish and off he went. Charlotte was sad to see him go.

Charlotte is still on a real daddy's girl kick and she spent a few minutes standing at the child gate crying. I was able to distract her briefly with a hug and some Lego building but, before I knew it, she was back at the gate again. This time she wasn't crying, she was attempting to climb the gate while yelling "DA DA DA DA". Lanie got very frustrated with her yelling and not sitting down to play with her. She went over to her and said "Charlotte, you really need to stop this! Daddy is working! He is making the pizza to bring home to us for dinner!"  


  • For the record, my husband does not make pizza for a living. On occasion he may pick one up on his way home from work. (Imagine if he did make pizza for a living though? That would be awesome! I love pizza!) None the less, apparently one pizza night a week is too much. My oldest is convinced that he's a pizza man.


As I approached the two of them, trying not to laugh,  I got down to their level and explained to them that their dad is not a pizza man. I also told my oldest that it is not okay to yell in people's faces. Right before my eyes my youngest held up her hand and motioned for a high-five (I think) but missed and slapped my oldest across the face. The yelling started all over again. My oldest screamed out "If you high-five my face, I will yell at your face!"
Just another day at the office . . .


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Sunday, April 21, 2013

Mommy Needs A Time Out


Mommy Needs A Time Out ~ TheQuirkyConfessions.com ~ Mommy Blog
It's funny . . . I often find myself sitting down to write on a day that has been either a real button pusher, stressful, or a day that I have had ice cream for lunch. Blogging is a good outlet for me. Plus I can't type and eat at the same time so that's good for me too. I was never a stress eater but I am now. I'm glad I walk a lot. Although, this past week we went for a walk and I realized when we got home from our three mile stroll that my youngest had taken her shoe off and threw it in someone's front yard without me noticing. This led me to do the same walk all over again in search of her shoe. Luckily, I found it. This also led me to eat a large bowl of ice cream after dinner that night. Six miles in one day made it okay in my eyes. Honestly, I've had a lot of ice cream this week, and I have a lot to write about.

Rolling Stones tongue ~ TheQuirkyConfessions.com ~ Mom Blog
It all started on Monday. My husband and I have not been out alone in a long time. The last time was before Christmas to go shopping for our kids. To make a long story short, I am a die hard Rolling Stones fan and tickets for their upcoming Boston show were going on sale that day. The perfect date!! I set up my laptop on the kitchen island while I played some Stones tunes. I brought in my kids' big pop up ball tent along with the 200 mini balls that go along with it to keep them occupied during my attempt to get these tickets. My oldest started yelling "I don't like this music. I don't wan't to listen to the Rolling Yuckers." Or maybe it was the "Yucky Stones". I can't really remember because I didn't want to hear it. I told her she should like The Rolling Stones because after I went to the concert she and her sister were going to be sporting some nice new t-shirts with tongues on them. She did like the idea of that since she loves my Rolling Stones t-shirt collection. After all, she did convert me to be a Bieber fan . . . so I believe there is still hope. Then, after about 45 minutes trying to get these tickets my youngest had resorted to throwing the balls at my head. I was a crazy lady, glued to my laptop and my kids were getting bored. The only tickets I could get my hands on were $547 A PIECE!  As sad as I was, I had to let them go. Who the hell spends that much money on concert tickets and affords diapers too? Not me. I apologized to my kids for the fact that they have a groupie for a mother, and tried to make the best of the rest of the day. 

Boston Strong ~ TheQuirkyConfessions.com ~ Mom Blog
In comparison to the turn of events that were about to unveil themselves that day not getting Rolling Stones tickets was a very minor occurrence. Monday was the day that the bombings occurred at The Boston Marathon. I so badly wanted to be glued to my TV to see what was going on but, for my kids' sake, I couldn't be. Instead, I spent the rest of the day glued to my smart phone for updates, I was clearly shaken up. So shaken up in fact that I actually dropped a glass bowl on the floor while making dinner.

The very next night my youngest tripped over a balloon and hit her head hard on the edge of our fireplace.  If I hadn't worked with kids in the past and seen them take some hardcore diggers I would have rushed her to the emergency room stat. I watched her closely and didn't sleep well that night. I spent most of it checking in on her. I was nervous but pretty confident that she did not have a concussion. She did get her bump checked out the following morning at the doctors office. I wish I could say that we were there for a routine visit but, sadly, that was not the case.  Remember that glass bowl I broke? Well, apparently, my sweeping several times as well as vacuuming several times did not do the job. My youngest found a tiny piece of glass and sliced her finger open. For 20 minutes straight I applied pressure and frantically tried to get the bleeding to stop from the gash. I was unsuccessful. I called the doctor's office and then called my husband in tears. I had held it together for too long and I just broke down. I'll fess up, I called my mother in tears too.  

I'm happy to say that Charlotte's finger was okay and they opted not to stitch due to the location of the injury. The bump on her head was okay too. She had just been there one week prior to this for double ear infections, they checked her ears as a follow up. Those looked good as well. It's been a rough two weeks for her but she is finally on the mend.

By Thursday night I just wanted a break. You know the type of break where you go out with your girlfriends and post a picture of yourself drinking a fancy Martini and title it "WooOooT, Mama's night out!!" (Maybe it's just me ;), ha!) This does not happen often but when it does I always find myself posting a picture on my personal facebook page of the one drink I order and then spend the rest of the night talking to my other mom friends about our kids. Let me tell you, those are some of the best conversations! I opted not to go anywhere though. Bed just seemed like a better option.

Friday was a new day and I woke up to more tragic news. The bombing suspects were on the loose causing more chaos and the city of Watertown and surrounding cities and towns were on lock-down. This included the city my husband works in. He was forced to stay home that day which was honestly just what we all needed. We were feeling so sad for everyone effected by the marathon bombings and tense and nervous about the bombers being at large. We were all safe at home with no plans, we all ate ice cream and later that night the news was in that we no longer had to worry. Boston was safe. Boston Strong.

It's days like Friday that remind me how lucky I am. I have the best kids and a wonderful husband. Even though after this week I plan to start a serious diet, I'm still smiling. And for those times I cheat with ice cream, I've always got the kid who likes to kick off her shoes and chuck them on people's lawns for that extra motivation!


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Friday, April 19, 2013

Picking My Battles


Picking My Battles ~ TheQuirkyConfessions.com ~ Parenting Humor, Mommy Blog
Over time I've learned to pick my battles wisely. Because, let's be honest, there's the logical way of doing things, and then there is the toddler/kid way. It may not always be the same approach that you or I would take but if it works for them, then so be it.  Just this morning I found myself sitting at the kitchen table when my oldest was on the verge of a mini meltdown because I would not give her a fork to eat her cheerios with. My first thought was, I'm not getting up to get you a fork when you have a spoon right in front of you. Then I thought to myself, do I really want to go there right now?  Do I really want to start the day off with an argument about utensils? Heck, I'm happy she uses utensils and honestly what difference does it make if she uses a fork or spoon? I'd give her chop sticks if it actually meant she was going to eat what was in front of her. Needless to say, she ate a record breaking 3 bowls of cereal . . . with a fork.

The other day my husband and I were driving when we passed an area with cows. My youngest was in the backseat saying "Mooooo, Cow"  while my oldest glanced out the window and said "Oh wow! Look at all the elephants!" We laughed, and I said "No Lanie, those are actually cows." She said "No, they are elephants." The same thing happened later when we saw some deer in our backyard. Despite my telling her three times that they were deer, she insisted that they were kangaroos. I probably could have sat there for a half hour or more trying to convince her that they were deer and not kangaroos. Not worth the battle.

My kids have also changed the cats name to "Joe". Apparently he'll respond to anything, so it really doesn't matter I guess. I do remind them that his "real" name is Jasper. They don't seem to care, and neither does he. Whatever . . . I'm not going to argue about it.

There are battles that I will fight though. One is nap time.  My kids get up at the crack of dawn every day, and shortly after noon time it shows. One will go down without a fuss, while the other tends to be a bit of a challenge. She will "rest" in her room for about an hour. By "rest" I mean that I'm usually serenaded by various hits like Wheels On The Bus, Ring Around the Rosie, or anything by P!NK and Fun. As long as I can fit a shower in and she doesn't wake up her sister with her loud singing I don't really care. 

All the battles I pick to fight are worth the struggle. I just don't sweat the small stuff.


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Monday, April 15, 2013

From Mary Poppins to Cruella Deville . . .


 “How is it that I can start the day as Mary Poppins, only to end the day as Cruella Deville?” ~ TheQuirkyConfessions.com

“How is it that I can start the day as Mary Poppins,
only to end the day as Cruella Deville?”
 ~ From "Mom's the Word: Remixed"

Friday, April 12, 2013

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

WARNING:
This blog contains material that is not appropriate for those who do not have a toddler, have never had a toddler or don't plan on having a toddler. Reader discretion is advised.


The Good, The Bad and The Ugly ~ TheQuirkyConfessions.com ~ Illustration by Sara Capello
As a stay at home mom of two small children I often find myself categorizing my days. For instance, if my husband calls to check in and see how the day is going he will usually get one of three answers . . . 
Good, Bad or Ugly. 






The Good Day ~ TheQuirkyConfessions.com
A day that consists of minimal tantrums. It's a day that we can get outside and enjoy the nice weather, or a day that is followed up by a good nights sleep by all. Every parent hopes for good days, but lets be realistic . . . they don't always happen.


The Bad Day ~ TheQuirkyConfessions.com
  A day that is usually triggered by sickness, lack of sleep or spending a good portion of your time dealing with temper tantrums. Bad is feeling overwhelmed. I'm not a fan of bad days, but who is?

Then there is . . .

The Ugly Day ~ TheQuirkyConfessions.com
These are the days that the ball lies in your court.  As the parent you have two options:

1. Lose your cool and set the tone for a potential bad day or
2. Try your best to be patient and just laugh off the ugly. 

Believe me, it's not always easy, but if you can, it's worth it.

This morning was one of those UGLY ones.  
As I was cleaning up after breakfast my kids were on the other side of my kitchen island out of my sight. They had been zooming toy cars across the kitchen floor when I heard my oldest yell "OH NO!  That looks so awful!" A phrase I had never heard her say before. I stopped what I was doing and walked over to see what was going on. There, before my eyes, was a giant puddle on the floor. My first thought was that it must be water but I quickly realized their sippy cups were filled with milk, not water. As I stood there for a few seconds trying to ponder over what caused this ginormous puddle it came to me . . . it was pee.
My youngest has now figured out how to rip her diapers off and she definitely pulled a fast one on me. She was fully clothed in her zip up, footy pajamas but, somehow still managed to pull off her diaper. At the very moment that I realized what the mysterious puddle was, my oldest looked at me and jumped in the pee like a kid would jump in a puddle with rain boots on except she was wearing footy pajamas just like her sister. And again I must say, this was a huge puddle of PEE not water. Apparently the phrase "Oh no, that looks so awful" translates in toddler to "Oh Boy, this is awfully fun!"  
It gets worse. As I'm trying to clean up the puddle, distract my kids from zooming the toy cars in it and strip them out of their wet pajamas, I realize that not only did my youngest pee . . . YUP, you guessed it. And somehow during this whole ordeal the diaper dangling from her ankle stayed bone dry.  There was an upside to all of this though. We got a jump start to our morning. Everyone was bathed and out the door by 8 AM to run some errands. 

While we were out running errands a cashier asked my kids "How are you doing today?". My oldest replied with, "I'm great! I played in a puddle of pee!" I just laughed and walked away without explanation. I really didn't want to rehash my morning. We spent the next couple of hours at the park where I kept a close eye on my youngest. One diaper incident was enough for one day.
As a parent I am thankful for the good days. I accept the bad days with the knowledge of the next day being a fresh start and I try my best to always turn the ugly around. Most importantly, I appreciate every day with them. Here's to an afternoon that is pee puddle free . . . hopefully.

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Friday, April 5, 2013

People You May Encounter While Out With Your Kids


The Quirky Mom shopping with The Quirky Kids ~ TheQuirkyConfessions.com
Today my kids and I ran a few errands around town. Our stops included the bank for cash and a local wholesale club to stock up on some much needed items. Things like the never ending paper towel supply that we manage to go through in two weeks time and, of course, diapers and wipes. 

While we were out we encountered the following people:

People you may meet: The Bank Teller ~TheQuirkyConfessions.com

A woman who I'd guess to be in her early 60's. She greeted us with a smile and made an effort to say hi to both my kids.
Charlotte waved and smiled while saying "Hi Dada" over and over and Lanie looked at her and said "I'm 2 and I'm shy". I was pretty impressed by this. Usually she'll look away if she feels uncomfortable and is not up to talking. She followed it up with "Could you please give us our money so we can go shopping? Thanks." I think she's coming out of her shell. The woman chuckled and handed both my kids lollipops. It was 9 AM and I'm sure some parents would put up a stink about this, I didn’t. I'd be a hypocrite, you know? Since this morning at 7:30 AM I crept away, out of sight from my kids to eat a peanut butter cup and chalked it up as breakfast. 


People you may meet: The Door Holder ~ TheQuirkyConfessions.com

These are the best people to run into. It's amazing that something as simple as holding the door for a mother who is struggling to push one child in a stroller and attempting to keep a good grip on her other child's hand can literally make one’s day. I always make sure to tell these people "Thank you so much! That was the biggest help." I usually get a reply of "Been there, done that. You're welcome." Ahhhh, someone who can relate to this challenge. Door holders are so under-rated. The world needs more of them.


People you may meet: The Cheek Squeezer ~ TheQuirkyConfessions.com

The woman in the bakery isle of the wholesale club who took a break from squeezing the 17 loaves of bread for freshness and instead turns to my youngest and starts squeezing her cheeks and telling her how cute she is. As I stand there with a fake smile trying to plot a quick escape, I'm really thinking to myself I should tell her "Watch out, she bites." She doesn't bite, but in all honesty in a situation like this I wouldn't care if she did. I know the woman was trying to be nice but really, just get back to your bread squeezing and leave my kid's cheeks alone.


People you may meet: The Eye Roller ~ TheQuirkyConfessions.com

A middle aged man who glares over at my oldest as she's standing on the front part of the shopping cart as I push it. I know things aren't how they used to be when I was a kid. You know, the times when your mother would call you in for dinner when the street lights came on or, riding in the way back of your parents old Jimmy with the bags of groceries. But, to my knowledge, there is no law that says a child can't ride on the front of a shopping cart. And if there is, well there were at least 10 other mothers in the store breaking it. Where do you think my kid got the idea from? For once she wasn't the mastermind. Who knows, maybe The Eye Roller thought she needed a helmet or something. For me it was refreshing to see my daughter so content and happy instead of attempting to race down the isles and fill the cart with things we don't need.


People you may meet: The Panicked Mom ~ TheQuirkyConfessions.com

A woman with two small children who were both throwing fits because she would not buy them Angry Bird fruit snacks. I know this scenario all too well. I looked at her and smiled as I walked by. I told her I've been there too. She laughed and smiled back. I wanted to give her a good vibe before she encountered 'The Eye Roller" who was just around the corner. Us moms need to stick together.


And finally,

People you may meet: The Jack$$~ TheQuirkyConfessions.com

The person you don't actually see, but want to. It's the person who parks six inches away from the passenger side of your car leaving you little room to finagle your child into their car seat. Actually this particular person left NO room, which forced me to climb over from the other side of the car to strap my youngest in. Hopefully this person will make up for their parking skills by holding the door for someone on their way out.



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