Kids Halloween Costumes . . .

Is it really necessary to make

kids Halloween costumes resemble

something a streetwalker would wear?

Sorry kids, NO . . .

you can't be Slutberry Shortcake or

The Wicked Witch of the Combat Zone,

EVER!

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A Weeks Worth of Kid Quirks

Boy have I got some quirky stories for you. This past week has been full of them. It all stems from my kids' obsession with Peppa Pig. Specifically, my three year old's. My (almost) two year old joins in on the quirkiness as she likes to follow her big sisters lead, or perhaps it's a payback since my oldest now refers to her younger sister as her "little brother Georgie"(Peppa's pig sibling). For those unfamiliar with "Peppa", she's a pig who speaks with a British accent and has a head which resembles an over-sized, 1970's style, pink blow dryer. It's a half hour cartoon which runs back to back from 5 to 6 pm. It really could not come on at a better time. My kids sit glued to the TV, allowing me time to start dinner without dealing with any serious casualties.

Recently, let's just say, I've developed a love/hate relationship with this silly Peppa Pig show. I LOVE that my kids will sit down on the couch without moving for a full hour. I HATE that my oldest now refers to me as "Mommy Pig", to my husband as "Daddy Pig", and that she'll often introduce herself to strangers by saying "Hi I'm Peppa pig, and this is my Mommy pig, my Daddy pig, and my little brother Georgie." I'm not sure if these so called strangers think that we are visiting from overseas since she now speaks with a British accent, but we're not. Also, my youngest is clearly a girl, and my husband and I are real live people, not pigs.

The other day during the car ride to preschool, my oldest busted out with a really loud "HI, I'M PEPPA PIG" followed by an equally loud pig snort. My youngest chimed in with a "NO! I'M PEPPA PIG", followed by more pig snorts. My oldest was floored by this and yelled "NO, YOU'RE MY LITTLE BROTHER GEORGIE!" This resulted in a very loud, dueling snort match for what is normally a very short car ride to school. That short car ride very well may have been the longest five minutes of my life.

On this same day, my oldest came home from school with two paintings she made. She was so excited to show them off and handed one over to my youngest. It was a nice break from the bickering over Peppa pig. This is what she said "Here Charlotte, I made this for you." My heart literally melted as she sat by our fireplace explaining to her younger sister that she made this extra picture to share with her. Then she said, "It's a giant steak. I made an extra one for you to eat since Mommy and Daddy don't feed us. That's what I said to my teachers at school." Just for the record: I feed my kids food.

On tommorow's breakfast menu: BACON

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Challenging Times with the Kids

Let me start by saying I love my kids. I love them to pieces. However, I am not one to sugar coat stuff. If things are bad, I'll tell you. If they are great, I'll tell you that too. Lately, things have been challenging . . . like teeth grinding challenging. Their recent sleep patterns bring me back to the times when they were newborns. Though I loved those times, it's a bittersweet reminder that I am perfectly content with my family of four. I'm tired, go back to sleep kids!

Recently my kids have entered into a monkey see monkey do phase. You know what? It sucks. I try my best to keep them busy and engaged in activities that are fun for them, because this monkey see monkey do crap is less likely to present itself. To be completely honest though, life isn't always about fun and games. There are obligations . . . like buying groceries. Shopping with my kids, sighhhhhhh. Somebody might as well throw a brick at my face, because it would probably be more pleasurable.

Over the weekend I thought we'd kill two birds with one stone. The prior week had been filled up with several play dates that included apple picking, pumpkin picking, the mall play place, and several visits to the park. I figured taking a "me" day wasn't out of the question. My mom had offered to get me a new purse for my upcoming birthday. You know, a real bag, a nice one! I've always been into nice bags, but for the past three years I have been sporting around the "trendy" diaper bag. I was ready for a change, and she wanted me to pick it out. The 45 minute drive to my mom's house is always more fun with company, so I opted to bring my kids along. Plus, my mom was excited when I said I was considering bringing them both. A visit with Nana and a new bag. A win/win, right? Who was I kidding? That shopping trip was a nightmare.

It all started when we arrived at the store and I took the stroller out of the car. My oldest hasn't ridden in a stroller or shopping cart for a very long time so I no longer tote the massive double stroller around. She does a great job holding your hand while walking, so I now stick to the single stroller for my youngest. Let's just say, that doesn't go over so well. Naturally, my youngest wants to follow her big sister's lead and walk. I warned my mother about this, and she has always said to me "Remember, you're the boss." Charlotte is still little, and in my opinion at her age, in situations like this, she should be riding in a stroller but, like I've said before, with small kids you pick your battles. I figured this would be a quick trip in and out. I'd put her in the stroller, she'd cry for maybe a minute, then be fine. Of course, I was wrong, very wrong!

Well, as we all know, no shopping adventure with kids in tow is a quick trip. (What was I thinking?) Secondly, Charlotte didn't cry for a minute, she wailed for five minutes before I finally took her out of the stroller. I figured since my mom was there to help out it wouldn't be too bad. Once she was freed from said stroller she immediately greeted a fellow onlooker with a great big smile and a "hello!" Okay. . . so all is well now, I can get my bag, right? Wrong. During the couple of minutes that I took to look around, my kids set off at least 15 security alarms attached to these purses and they did this while under the watchful eye of my mother and I. I'm not joking, we were right there and it turned into a game of who could set the most alarms. Now, I'm not sure when or who invented these snazzy new security devices that attach to the bags and have a button that, when pushed, sends the alarm into panic mode. (Whoever you are, thanks buddy!) At any rate my kids figured out exactly how to make these things screech and they found great joy in pulling away from my mom and I to do so. With several alarms going off all at once, the store sounded more like a birds of prey exhibit at the ecotarium than your standard department store. I was mortified, and figured it would be best to get out of there . . . quick. We went to another department store where this same thing happened, again. I'm not sure which kid started this awful button pushing nightmare, but the noise was horrid. We left that store too but not before getting my bag and dealing with two massive temper tantrums because we did not buy the black and white polka-dot shoes.

Oh, well. Kids will be kids, so the saying goes. Lesson learned from my unfortunate adventure in shopping . . . when you take your next "ME" day, LEAVE the kids at home!

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My Mommy Meltdowns

This week has been rough. My kids made me cry. Twice. I'm not exactly sure what drove me to this point, but I do know this . . . typically I can brush the sometimes crazy days off and start each new day with a smile. I figure if I can get to 12:30 PM, any given day, without dropping the f-bomb under my breath it's a good day. That wasn't the case this past week.  I'm going to chalk it up as a default considering one day, or actually one night, started when my oldest decided to get up at 11:30 PM and went the entire following day without napping. I tried my best to ignore the very loud singing that went on for four hours straight that night, but after several reminders that everyone else was sleeping and she needed to be quiet and go back to bed, it just wasn't happening and I gave up. The very next night my youngest started her day at 2:30 AM, and just kept going and going like the Energizer Bunny on some sort of speed. I wanted to run away. I had visions of someplace tropical, but would have settled for an hour to myself to indulge in a very strong Belvedere martini . . . extra dirty. I can totally understand how some stay at home moms turn into stay at home alcoholics. (This is coming from someone who rarely drinks.)

The lack of sleep, temper tantrums and constant arguments over toys was really taking its toll on not only them, but myself as well. One morning I decided to do something kind of silly to see if I could sway our moods in a different direction. It wasn't really silly, it was dumb. Well, I thought it was silly, my kids thought it was dumb. I had a stray helium balloon that I decided to pop and suck some of the helium out of. As I entered the room trying to contain my high pitched, helium laughter, I said "Hey Kids, look at me! I'm your Motha!" (As you can tell, I was clearly starting to lose my marbles.) Kid one screamed at the top of her lungs and yelled "What are you? You're not my mother!!" Kid two gave me the dirtiest look I've ever seen a child give, then turned around and walked away. My attempt at some early morning humor failed.

Later that day my oldest peed on our $2000 couch. Yeah, that pretty much sums up that day. Well, with the exception of bickering over every single toy in our house. The snatching toys . . . I can't take it. It happens all. The. Time. My three year old gets my count to three tactic. It works like a charm. "If you don't give that back I'm going to have to count to three."  I get half way through one and it's pretty much the equivalent of Chinese water torture in her eyes. "NOOO! Don't count to three, I'll give it back!!" My youngest on the other hand thrives on me counting to three. The look she gives as I start to count is similar to the look that a child petting their brand new puppy for the very first time would have. Pure excitement. "Yeah, do it! Count to three. Do it. Do it." It's pretty awful. Let's just say she's going through a testy phase.

Today, my "testy" one made her way up onto the kitchen counter and into a shopping bag that had chocolate cupcakes with orange frosting in it. This happened during the 47 seconds that I was in the bathroom. By the time I cleaned the chocolate off of her hands and face, it dawned on me that I too was now covered in chocolate and had little time to change my clothes. (If you read my past blogs, you may remember my oldest freaks out about stains on her shirt. Yeah, she must get that from me.) Despite my looking like I just took a float down Willie Wonka's chocolate river, I did not have time to change. I had five minutes to get to preschool to pick up my oldest. Plus, I wanted to prove a point to her . . . it's okay to get dirty. Thank god for curb side pick-up, or people may have thought I was home stuffing my face with chocolate cupcakes all morning.

On a good note, my youngest is turning two in a month. That explains some of the testy behavior. On that same day, I’ll be turning 37. My oldest reminded me of that this morning. She said "Mommy, you look so good!" I took this as a compliment, then she said, "For a big, old 24 year old. You have a birthday coming up soon too . . . 47, right?" To add insult to injury, I actually did have to count on my fingers to figure out how old I was going to be. The day I turn 47, I mean 37, is the day I'm treating myself to that martini! Cheers to testy behaviors, terrible twos, good health, and everything in between!

Have you had a mommy meltdown recently? I would love to hear about it, please share!

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My Bucket List of things to do with My Kids

Everyone has visions of things they want to do with their kids while they're still young, right? Making lasting memories is fun! Not only for them, but for you too!

Here's my list:

1. A trip to Disney
I did this as a kid and boy do I have memories. I mean who doesn't like the sound of mouse ears, sunshine and Space Mountain? (Well, maybe my husband since he is not a fan of roller coasters.) It's okay, he can stick to the Tea Cups and those flying Dumbos. I don't like rides that spin.

2. Take my kids to a concert
Like a real rock concert. No Elmo, Fresh Beat Band, or Biebers. (I'm not saying I won't do that too, just no Justin . . . I can't stand that Bieber boy.) I'm talking about Kiss, or maybe P!NK. I'd do this even if it's just for pure shock value.

3. Dance in the rain, climb some trees, lick the beaters (yeah I know, egg free ones)
These basics are sometimes the most fun!

4. Play Hooky (I won't get mad)
Let me start by saying I do not encourage skipping school in any way, shape, or form. Maybe it will be a trip to the American Girl store on your birthday, or maybe when you're older you'll take a day to go to the beach with friends. If you (my kids) somehow stumble across this post when you're in high school, you have my permission to take a day to do something fun. ONE day without consequences. Everybody needs their own Ferris Bueller's day off. Just don't do anything too stupid, or there will be consequences.

5. Encourage my kids to take risks
If you feel confident, do it! Daredevil stunts help overcome fears, build confidence and maybe even break bones. (Not that I hope for that, but it happens.) It's part of life. Let's just keep the climbing at the playground and not on my kitchen counters . . . I promise the playground is your place to be free, and I'll let you.

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The Perfect Day: Was It A Sign?

Let me start by saying nobody is perfect and perfect days are hard to come by. They're a dime a dozen and though most days are good, I usually have at least a few moments with my kids that aren't so good. Maybe it's a temper tantrum about leaving the park, or the struggle of trying to get them to eat a decent meal. Most often it's breaking up an argument over a toy, or what seems like several arguments these days. This stuff happens, and I expect it to with a three and almost two year old.

This perfect day started out no different than any other day . . . well maybe a little different. I woke up feeling a tad bit out of sorts. Actually, I held it together, but I was feeling sad. I've found myself thinking about my grandmother a lot lately. Truthfully, I think about her everyday, but I don't typically get emotional over it. This week marks two years since she's passed away. I miss her. I'm well aware that I'm going to contradict myself by saying this, but if I could describe her in one word, it would be this - Perfect. This woman raised six kids of her own. Yeah, six!  Anyone who can raise six kids of their own and still be sane is a hero in my book. She had a boatload of grandkids too, and spent a lot of her free time knitting us things. She knit sweaters, hats, mittens and blankets. When she was bored, she'd knit our favorite stuffed animals things. She had a few great grandkids too, my oldest being one of them. Lanie was lucky to get some of the hand knit Nana goods, and Charlotte was just as lucky to have them handed down to her. Though both my kids have outgrown these baby sweaters, I continue to hold on to them for safe keeping. They never seem to make my "give-away" pile.

The funny thing about this specific morning was that my kids asked to play with their cards. (Over the years I have saved every card they've received from birthdays, holidays, or whatever the occasion might be.) I remember as a child my mom had done the same for me. I'd sit for hours looking through those cards and my kids do the same with theirs. Most of the time they'll sit on the floor digging through the massive pile looking for the ones coated with the most glitter. They like to pick it off and pretend it's "fairy dust". I don't really care, and it keeps them busy. Plus, there are so many cards that fighting over any specific one is rarely an issue. As I made their breakfast my oldest approached me with one particular card, "Can you read this? This one is my very favorite." It wasn't her usual go to card. The norm would have been any card that resembled Tinker Bell  vomiting "fairy dust" all over it, or one smothered in so much glitter that it would require you to dig out your dust pan and broom after it was touched. This card was simple. The front read "A Star Is Born". I opened it up, and there was her perfect, and very distinct  penmanship. It was a card given to Me/Lanie from my grandmother the day Lanie was born. Out of at least 150 cards sprawled all over our family room floor, she picked the simple one with the small, yellow star on the front. This was her favorite that day. It contained a small note, and was signed "Love from, Nana". The timing seemed perfect.

The day continued to flow in a direction that I'm not really used to. Well, I am used to it,  just not all at once. There is always that one, or some times more than one thing that will cause some minor, or sometimes major turmoil. The day was filled with good manners, role model behaviors and lots of hugs, giggles and smiles from my kids. Put it this way, I gave my kids a bath and there was no flooded bathroom. I cut their nails and there wasn't the usual wrestling match that ALWAYS comes along with doing so. I ran two errands and nobody tried to throw unnecessary items in the shopping cart, and no one tried to run away. BOTH of my kids took a nap. That NEVER happens!  I seriously considered buying a scratch ticket that afternoon because I was feeling pretty lucky. Instead, my husband and I took the girls out to dinner where they sat happily eating their THIRD meal of the day!  (Sitting and actually eating three meals in one day is unheard of in this house.) We had ice cream for desert, and then hit the park where my kids DID NOT throw temper tantrums when it was time to leave. (Again, that hardly ever happens.) 

It was one of those days that just seemed too easy. (Not that I'm complaining.) Was it a coincidence, or some sort of sign?  I'll probably never know, but I do know this . . . it was perfect.

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Fact or Fiction? . . . With Kids, Hard to Tell!

FACT: My oldest started preschool last week. So far she loves it, and has shown no signs of separation anxiety. No tears! (From me or her.)

FACT: I'm not surprised by her ability to jump right in and have no issues during drop off. (Although, I'm very aware that this could change at any time.) I am surprised that I didn't lose my cool on her first day and cry her entire class a river to play in. I purposely wore no eye makeup that morning because I was 99.9% sure this would happen. I must have looked like real crap considering I was up at 4:30 AM just thinking about leaving her. FACT: I had far more anxiety than she did.

After dropping her off I had a brief orientation, then a full hour to myself. My mother in law was watching my youngest and I was at a complete loss . . . I was kid free?! What should I do? . . . I ran a quick errand and got coffee. It was the best coffee I've had in a long time. It was hot, unlike the coffee that sits on my counter every morning waiting for me to chug down in between making breakfast, cleaning up and getting my kids dressed. I enjoyed it, but at the same time I watched my car clock like a hawk. I was counting down the minutes until it was time to head back to school and hear all about Lanie's day. I arrived early, and was welcomed back by the center director. She told me the kids were outside and encouraged me to take a peek out the window. I watched her play. FACT: This brought a huge smile to my face.

She was happy to see me waiting when she walked in, and was excited to tell me about all the fun stuff she did on the car ride home.

This is where fact and fiction get hard to decipher. She told me she played with boys called twins. This is a fact. I met them when I dropped her off, and she was quick to head over and play blocks with them. She told me she loved using scissors. (Something I have not done with her.) She showed me the motions of using a scissors, and said she needed some of her own for at home. "I need my own scissors, golden ones. I need to cut Charlotte's hair." This is a FACT: she did not learn how to use scissors from me. It's also a fact that we'll stick to using scissors at school, at least for now. We don't need her younger sister getting any unwanted haircuts. She told me that her whole class went to Marshall's to buy new shoes. I'm 100% sure that this is FICTION, but it gave me a good laugh.

On her second day she was not as quick to offer up info about her morning. That's when I drilled her for it. (Bad idea.) "Did you have fun?" "What did you do?" "What are your new friends names?" This is what I got: "YES, I HAD FUN." "I got green marker on my shirt and it made me angry." "My new best friend is Polka Dot, okay?!" I'm pretty sure the had fun part was a FACT, and that she was just angry that I was asking her so many questions all at once. The green marker on her shirt was a FACT, and she was beyond pissed about it. I explained to her that its okay to get dirty, dirty means fun! Plus your mom is a master with a stain stick . . . relax! (She's a little prissy when it comes to getting dirty sometimes . . . we're working on that.) As far as "Polka Dot" goes, I'm pretty sure that's FICTION. Although, I should ask her teachers for a class list. You never know with all the   unique names people come up with these days. My sincere apologies if your reading this and have a "Polka Dot" of your very own.

All and all preschool has been a big hit for all of us . . . except for my youngest who is upset that she isn't old enough to go to preschool yet! (Nothing that some munchkins from Dunkin Donuts can't take care of.)

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